Jenny Matthews – Diversity Queen!

October 10, 2022November 2, 2021 by virtualpursers

Jenny Matthews – Diversity Queen!

Jenny Matthews. Need we say more?! She is at the forefront of creating diversity and inclusion within the yachting industry and not that this needs to be said but of course, the founder of She of the Sea. Which “holds the clear vision of a high performance, competency focused yachting industry, regardless of gender, race or any other factors.” Featured in Business Insider, The Guardian, Mega Yacht News and more, she has certainly been making waves (sorry I had to!) in the industry. Although she claims she hasn’t exactly had an incredible career but rather a unique one, we beg to differ! Read more about Jenny’s journey, where she is now and where she’s headed.

Can you tell our VP tribe a little about your background that led you into yachting?

Being from NZ, I think a lot of kiwis grow up with a bit of salt in their veins and an affinity for the ocean. That is certainly the case for me and although I was never much of a sailor. I spent a huge chunk of my teens out on the water at the crack of dawn with the rowing team. Looking back, I feel it was this foundation in a highly competitive sport that led me to yachting. I’ve always been obsessed with creating an environment where a team of people can reach their highest potential, with a particular interest in the human side of it, what makes a team tick etc. As I went straight from college to yachting (stopping off on Lord Howe Island to get my Dive Master), I can really only attribute being led to yachting to that courage you have as a teenager to just jump into something that excites you and work out the details as you go!

You’ve had an incredible career; can you tell us about it and how you got to where you are today?

This is a great question and a bit challenging to be honest as I don’t really feel like I’ve had an incredible career. Unique perhaps, but it doesn’t feel any more so than anyone else! I think the challenges that have popped up have really shaped it so far, for example knowing I wanted to work in the deck department and being shuffled into the interior because ‘women don’t work on deck’ (2008). I’ve found a lot of inspiration from people of all genders along the way, though I will tip my hat to those that have faced adversity due to not fitting the ‘yachting norm’ and have paved the way for those following them up the ladder. I’ve been really fortunate to have amazingly supportive people along my journey, and equally so there have been periods with very little support which have in turn built an element of resilience and self-reliance that I am proud of and serves me well.

I feel like one of the main words to describe my career so far is eclectic. I’ve worked on both motor and sail, with such a diverse range of characters and since I’ve been sticking to temp work this past year. I’ve found so much value in seeing lots of different leadership styles, procedures, drills, training, operations etc. I can’t recommend it enough to people looking to expand their horizons and pick out the bits that resonate the most with them!

She of the Sea and LEGASEA are really extensions of Tash (my partner and co-pilot) and I’s a passion for the industry and our desire to see it be as fulfilling, professional and incredible as it is at its best. These days it feels a bit surreal to be sharing my time between being onboard, which I love, and working on programs that are making yachting a better place.

She of the Sea is such an exciting movement, how did this come about?

She of the Sea was really born out of curiosity and in some way I really just wanted some female friends that had similar shared stories for us to connect about and learn from each other! At the time, I had just achieved the Chief Mate 3000GT and although I had amazing male peers, I was really missing that female side. I wanted to reach out and connect, and it turns out I wasn’t the only one! I asked a question on Facebook, something along the lines of ‘ is anyone else out there?’ And it blew up. From there I googled how to build a website and the rest is history!

I really think it was the right platform at the right time and has now evolved so much further than the community and is moving in real action to support and amplify women in male-dominated spaces at sea. We have such an amazing community now that is growing by the day, and I have to say, getting to know the generation of women coming up the ranks is SO inspiring, it’s what really drives us and we get a kick at each milestone they reach! We have been really amazed at the support for the conversation from all genders, from both ashore and at sea, and although it’s obvious that you’re never going to resonate with everyone, we have seen a HUGE increase in engagement from across the board.

LEGASEA is the natural evolution of She of the Sea, and while SOTS will continue to do what it does best (supporting and connecting women in the deck and engineering departments), LEGASEA is speaking to Yachting’s overall social impact. Its programs will dive into diversity, equity and inclusion, community outreach, a circular knowledge economy and further understanding who we are as an industry and the challenges we collectively face.

We would love to hear what diversity, equity, and inclusion mean to you and why they’re important?

Great question! Diversity is the mix of individuals, identities, talents, experiences and perspectives. Demographics range from factors such as race, ethnicity, gender, age, orientation to the socio-economical background, education, political beliefs and religion. Diversity of thought, the background is also a big part! Without inclusion, diversity is unfulfilled potential. Inclusion is how people feel and are treated within a group.

Inclusion is when people feel valued, heard, safe, able to fail while they innovate, feel they have the opportunity and a sense of belonging and will be evaluated based on their merits. It’s about equal opportunity, resources and support. For example, there’s no point pulling up an extra chair to the table if no one listens to what that person has to say, or they are intimidated into silence.

Equity is recognising that currently, different demographics face different challenges and some more than others. That doesn’t mean that those who don’t face these challenges are any less worthy, or their achievements mean less, it’s just acknowledging that they have not faced challenges that others have. Equity is recognising these unique barriers, removing them and ensuring that all our people have the appropriate support and opportunity to progress and engage.

So that’s a little “corporatey”, but in a nutshell, for me diversity, equity and inclusion are recognising that it’s our differences that make us stronger, better at our jobs and more open to new ideas. It’s really recognising that as a team, we are going to perform in a totally different way when everyone feels accepted and safe to show up as their full selves, to question, to support, to share ideas.

When I’m putting together a deck team, I make sure I’ve got a great mix, both mentally, physically and emotionally, someone tall, someone who’s super detail orientated, someone with some brawn, someone who’s had experiences totally different to myself etc. I want as many different skills, outlooks and mindsets as possible to build out a really strong, all-round team. If we all have the same strengths, we aren’t going to be able to perform anywhere near as good as a team with a good mix where everyone contributes. An analogy I use sometimes is that if you try to fix an engine with 10 of the same spanners, you’re not going to get very far.

In your opinion, what are the challenging aspects of creating a diverse working environment in the yachting industry?

Wow.. where to start! Ha! To say there are many is an understatement but honestly, from what we have seen over the last 3 years it’s clear that as an industry, we have enough brilliant, passionate and committed individuals to know that we will get there.

There are big challenges around the basics like education on the topics, including sustainability as our industry seems to be stuck on this only being about the environment (Sustainability is in fact made up of three key areas, social, environmental and governance). Awareness and visibility are closely linked to this as well and although we are seeing this being talked about more- again, we have a long way to go!

Unconscious bias plays a big part in perpetuating the status quo and while we all have it, the deeply engrained social norms of our industry will require a lot of consistent work to unpick.

A lack of industry policy and standard practices is a big challenge. This is a big topic and when we tackle this one we will see a big jump forward in terms of professionalisation in general.

Visual and verbal representation needs a lot of work, who does our media present as an’ expert’, who gets the mic, who do we see in our photoshoots, websites and webinars.

A lack of data and real quantitative and qualitative feedback from all industry stakeholders makes identifying the REAL challenges faced tough. It’s one thing to take action on what you think might be the problem but without these insights, it’s really hard to know if your solving the problem you need to be solving.

Community outreach is MASSIVE. Right now, you only know about the industry if you know someone in it, follow someone on social media or have watched Below Deck. That means that we have some major work to do on how we connect with the next generation of talent.

A lack of accountability for discriminatory behaviour is true for a lot of area’s that need to evolve for this industry to professionalise.

I could go on and on ( and do most days) but these are a few of the big challenges currently being faced and addressed. All of our LEGASEA and She of the Sea outputs are designed to move us forward and past these barriers which you can check out here https://www.legasea.org.uk

What is your approach to understanding the perspectives of colleagues from diverse backgrounds?

Connect authentically. That means different things for different people but I always find the more I listen and am able to learn about people as WHOLE people, and not just ‘ the stew’ or ‘the captain’, the more I am able to connect and facilitate what inclusion, belonging and support means for that person, at that time. We are all complex and unique so there’s no tick box to this, but bringing in a framework of expectation and awareness that not everyone has to agree with every single thing is important. It’s also not our job to change people’s minds or cultures to fit our narrative, so acceptance is a big part.

What suggestions would you have in handling a situation where a colleague was being culturally insensitive, sexist, racist, or homophobic?

My advice for the crew in general should they not feel to be in a position of power to personally deal with the situation is to keep a log of everything, speak to your HOD or trusted colleague and if need be, follow the onboard complaints procedure. I do acknowledge though that quite often it’s potentially a HOD, or some other person in a position of power that may be the issue so this is not as easy or as straightforward as it sounds. As each scenario is so different, it’s hard to give a simple answer to this but from a personal point of view. Being clear on your boundaries is an amazing and powerful attribute, and if you find yourself in a space where they are being crossed, and don’t feel the leadership onboard is strong enough to deal with it, then my recommendation would be to leave. Again, not always as straight forward but I’m a big believer that no boat is worth impacting your mental, physical or emotional wellbeing and for every bigot out there, there is a professional, educated and open crew looking for good people.

What changes do you want to see in the yachting industry?

I would love to see the industry professionalised. It feels like it’s time, doesn’t it? It feels like as an industry ( and to be honest, as a landscape, it’s only really roughly 30ish years old) we are in our awkward teenage years. Growing quickly, becoming more visible, but haven’t really caught up with ourselves in terms of industry practice, standardising performance, all-around professionalism and at least matching global standards in some pretty important areas. The ‘Wild West’ days are disappearing into the rearview and I’m excited for what yachting’s next phase is going to look like.

What have you loved most since you started this journey?

The people. The boats are pretty cool but to be honest for me it’s all about the people.

What’s next for SOTS?

All our latest programs are here www.legasea.org.uk ! Super exciting stuff like Mentoring, the Speaker Bank, V2 of the Pledge, the Impact Academy… it’s a lot!

Jess Ayling’s Career in Yachting

October 10, 2022August 28, 2021 by virtualpursers

Jess Ayling’s Career in Yachting

Jess Ayling is no ordinary Purser. This young lady started out as a deckhand and impressively worked her way up the ladder, gaining her OOW in the process. Her passion for her job is palpable, injecting an aspect of care into the industry that is oftentimes absent. She opens up about her career in yachting and how her journey took her from deckhand to Purser.

Did you always want to get into yachting?

Originally I considered yachting a kind of ‘stop gap’ before I went to university. I genuinely thought I would be in the industry for a couple of years. I had no idea the journey I was about to undertake. Thirteen years later I’m still here and I have no regrets.

What made you choose the deck route vs. interior when starting your yachting career?

There was no question that I would go the deckhand route when I first got into yachting. Growing up sailing, diving and driving boats, it was a complete no brainier. Back in 2008, it was still quite uncommon to have female deckies. The yacht agents tried to convince me I should go for deck/stew roles. The best piece of advice I was given was to stick to my guns and tell them I only wanted to be considered for a full deck role. After being told I would struggle, I proved them wrong by having seven solid job offers after 2 days in Antibes, I joined my first yacht a couple of weeks later in Mexico.

What was it like working your way up on deck?

It was so much fun, I loved the comradery that comes with being on deck. I learnt to be tough and take a lot of jokes, however, at the same time I have only ever felt truly respected by the men I have worked with. Unfortunately, I know this is not always the case, and misogyny is still very prevalent in Yachting. As a female, I felt things get slightly more difficult when I wanted to start climbing the ladder and asking for more responsibility. There is a huge appeal of having a female deckhand. However, they become more sceptical when it comes to a female in a leadership role over a team of men. You certainly have to work twice as hard, study and get all your tickets before you are taken seriously.

Tell us what made you transition from a Second Officer to a Purser Role?

I was in a time of my life where I was unsure what direction I wanted to take in yachting, I loved being Second Officer however I knew I did not want to become a Captain. I had been playing with the idea of being a Purser as there are many transferable skills. I Spoke to one of the lovely ladies at Wilson Halligan for some advice, and they gave me the courage to go for it and put my CV out there.

Who has been a mentor/support for you in your yachting career?

My current Rotational Captains have been an invaluable part of my career growth as Purser and I have a great working relationship with them both, they are so encouraging. Throughout my entire career my sister, Nicki Ayling, who was also in the yachting industry for many years has always been someone I’ve looked up to as a strong female dominating in a male field.

What challenges do you face working as a Purser?

The past couple of years of ‘COVID madness’ has been extremely challenging as a Purser, I feel like I have learnt so much in a short space of time. I have learnt to prioritise and handle anything that is thrown in my direction and I simply do not sweat the small stuff anymore. Another huge thing I have to consistently work on is handling my emotions in a high-pressure role. I really care about my job, and the crew, but sometimes you have to try and detach as you can get overburdened by others’ expectations of you. When you are under pressure it’s easy to feel like this.

The only other huge challenge I face is coming down for lunch without being bombarded with questions about crew flights… but I guess that comes with the territory.

How do you feel about the future of the industry?

I am hoping to see some positive sustainable changes as we become more aware of the impact our actions have on the planet. COVID has made people evaluate what is really important.

What has been your favourite thing about yachting throughout your yachting career?

There are too many highlights for me and I have been to some unbelievable places and had unforgettable experiences. My absolute favourite thing is the people I’ve met and knowing that I now have friends all around the world to visit (when we can all travel again).

What is next in the pipeline for you?

Yachting has been my life since I was a green deckhand at the tender age of eighteen. I am currently lucky to be employed on a fantastic vessel so I’m really happy where I am right now. If and when things change I would still love to work around the industry somehow although I am not sure in which capacity.

What advice would you give young ladies looking to start their yachting career with regards to which path to take?

I would say I am a testament to the fact that if you are not sure which direction to go, you can always change your mind later on. A career in yachting is incredible and if you work hard you will reap the rewards, so go for it!

It’s clear that we can expect great things from Jess. As for her career in yachting, I doubt we’ll see the last of it for some time to come. Thanks for making the industry a better place Jess!

Limiting Beliefs and How They’re Holding You Back

October 10, 2022August 28, 2021 by virtualpursers

Limiting Beliefs and How They’re Holding You Back

Why is it that some people are so successful and others are not? Sure there are sometimes extenuating circumstances that put others ahead but there are also those who seem to beat the odds. The majority of the time, it comes down to mindset. We can only achieve what we believe. Limiting beliefs are thoughts, opinions that one believes to be the absolute truth. They tend to have a negative impact on one’s life by stopping them from moving forward and growing on a personal and professional level.

Examples are: “I’m bad with money”, “Every time I try and change, I fail”, “Work isn’t meant to be a joy”. These are just thoughts, and through continued affirmations they became beliefs. Our tendency to interpret new information as confirmation of our pre-existing beliefs is called confirmation bias, which means that we often believe what we want to believe.

Everyone has the potential to achieve great things, no matter their circumstances. But fear often holds up back, we tell ourselves stories, play it safe and only end up living half a life. We create stress and internal conflict by holding ourselves back from our true calling. When we change our stories to create a new truth about who we really are, then we start to feel happy and fulfilled. But why and how does this occur?

How Self-belief originates

Up until the age of seven, we operate in brain wavelengths that closely resemble a hypnotic state, according to Dr Bruce Lipton, author of The Biology of Belief. This is where most of our limiting beliefs are formed. I’m sure you’ve heard of the saying kids are like sponges? They soak up and record everything around them including “bad” and “good” behaviours and emotions.

When a child is treated with love and made to feel wanted, this turns into the belief that they are valued. Contrary to that, if a child is neglected or abused they will grow up with the belief that they are unwanted and undeserving. These will become their limiting beliefs. If you’ve ever heard that little voice in your head telling you can’t be or do something, that’s a limiting belief. Those thoughts are exactly that, just thoughts. They are not realities.

As humans, we are constantly aiming to make ourselves as comfortable as possible. This includes avoiding negative emotions like frustration, anxiety, anger etc. Limiting beliefs act as a defence mechanism to avoid these emotions. Often they are triggered by situations where you have experienced suffering in the past. You change your behaviour because your subconscious is trying to prevent this. It often ends, ironically in other negative outcomes such as procrastination, imposter syndrome, overthinking etc.

How to Take Back Control of Your Limiting Beliefs

If you find yourself feeling fearful or resisting an activity, stop and be aware. You’re currently in a state of ‘low mood’ thinking.
Write it down! What is it that you think you cannot do? Try and identify exactly why you are feeling that way. Understand that what you are thinking is not necessarily true.
Look for evidence. Why aren’t you able to achieve XYZ? Are these legitimate reasons or just excuses? Are you able to overcome these? Is it just difficult and you are not willing to? That is also ok but it doesn’t mean you can’t.
Be accountable. Thoughts and feelings come and go, they are not that truth about who you are. There are plenty of tools to help you combat negative emotions like stress and anxiety, use them! A brain is a powerful tool, you are in control of a lot more than you think (limiting belief). Breathe and recentre.
Talk it out! As the saying goes, friends are better than therapy. If you find yourself having limiting beliefs, I’m sure your friends or family would be shocked to hear what you think about yourself. Find someone you trust to share your thoughts.

Of course, changing a belief doesn’t automatically result in changed behaviour, you still have to do the work. For example, change “I’m not good with money.” to “In the past, I haven’t been good with money but I am working towards changing my spending habits.” or “I am learning how to be financially responsible.” Take one step at a time.

“The quality of your thoughts creates the quality of your life.”

If you want to change your life, something needs to change! Create new empowering beliefs to enable you to achieve much more than you originally thought possible. If you tell yourself “I can’t” or “that’s not possible”, ask yourself WHY 5 times to get to the route of that belief. It may not be possible to the extent or exactly how you picture it but I assure you, nothing is impossible.

Create a new mindset and a new narrative, become confident and courageous, what have you got to lose?